So, what does this need for control mean? Why keep accumulating clothes?
I'm going to go ahead and state that by no means do I think shopping is evil, buying things is bad, nor do I intend to ever give it up or attempt to persuade you to do so. This is really just me processing a lot of stuff. And yes, being somewhat intense about it.
I think it's an inherently human quality to want to accumulate "stuff". And maybe even more likely if you're an American. I heard it said recently that the ultimate American Dream is "to have enough money to do what I want, when I want, how I want to do it".
And I think I mostly agree with that, although I'd add the caveat of "as long as it doesn't hurt someone else." But I think that's the message we're getting from...somewhere. Maybe the media. Maybe society. Maybe, we're all just pre-wired to be self-serving jerks. And then we like to whine about other people who are bigger jerks.
But here's the thing: The American Dream goes against everything I personally believe in. I want to be an open, loving person who isn't just seeking to further myself or my agenda.
So how do my shopping habits connect with that?
If, for me, shopping is fulfilling a need for control that's not being fulfilled elsewhere, and if, for me, I think it's that I'm doing this shopping
Under Construction!
Come back soon for a site re-vamp!
8.07.2011
11.08.2010
It's been a long time coming...
...but I've got good news.
I finally started a new blog, Darling Lola, which you can find here.
After spending a LOT of time thinking about it, I just felt like "90 Days..." had run it's course, so I''m shutting it down, probably within the next month or so.
Please make sure to follow me at Darling Lola, so you can see my new outfits and updates!
I finally started a new blog, Darling Lola, which you can find here.
After spending a LOT of time thinking about it, I just felt like "90 Days..." had run it's course, so I''m shutting it down, probably within the next month or so.
Please make sure to follow me at Darling Lola, so you can see my new outfits and updates!
9.17.2010
Squee!!!
Hi everyone!
I know I've been taking a somewhat *ahem* extended hiatus, but good things are underway for 90 Days Without Shopping! There's lots of surprises to unveil soon!
Meanwhile, I got this lovely little item in my inbox today:
I MAY BE A BIT EXCITED.
I know I've been taking a somewhat *ahem* extended hiatus, but good things are underway for 90 Days Without Shopping! There's lots of surprises to unveil soon!
Meanwhile, I got this lovely little item in my inbox today:
I MAY BE A BIT EXCITED.
8.12.2010
Reader Request #2--Day 97
So today, I'm continuing my weekly challenge of "Reader Requests", in which blog readers, via comments, tell me how to wear my new clothes.
Next up is a good friend, Kara. I'm lucky to know her in real life, as she's one of those friends who has learned how to tell the truth, but with kindness and support. She's pretty amazing!
Kara has a great website, karalambert.com, where she posts photos from her portrait sessions. She did a session for me and we had so much fun! I'd recommend her even if she wasn't a friend!
Here's Kara's outfit suggestion:
Cotton Puffed Sleave with skinny jeans and heels!
In her honor, I took photos at one of her (and my) favorite places. Can you guess where?
card catalog:
sunglasses--Target
top--Diane von Furstenburg (via Plato's)
belt--Miley Cyrus for Wal-Mart
jeans--Gap
mary janes--Gianni Bini
8.09.2010
Reader Request #1--Day 95
So today is the first of "Reader Requests", in which a reader gets to play stylist with my new clothes.
First up is Melissa of "A Working Mom's Closet", who you should check out! She's great at taking affordable pieces and making stylish looks for work by blending color, pattern and texture. Pop over and check her out!
Here was her outfit suggestion:
Melissa said...
Okay, I'm gonna suggest taking the cotton Topshop floral blouse (I'm seriously into florals right now) with the JCrew green cardi layered over top and belted (I have a thing for belting, I just love it) with a black/yellow/pink/white (any solid) skirt. Throw in some yellow shoes and YAY! That would make me happy.
First up is Melissa of "A Working Mom's Closet", who you should check out! She's great at taking affordable pieces and making stylish looks for work by blending color, pattern and texture. Pop over and check her out!
Here was her outfit suggestion:
Okay, I'm gonna suggest taking the cotton Topshop floral blouse (I'm seriously into florals right now) with the JCrew green cardi layered over top and belted (I have a thing for belting, I just love it) with a black/yellow/pink/white (any solid) skirt. Throw in some yellow shoes and YAY! That would make me happy.
Now I need to find a floral top like that along with a green cardigan.
Melissa, I've gotta admit, I wasn't sure how this would translate. But I should have trusted that eye for color! I originally was going to pair the cardi/top combo with a solid J. Crew skirt, until I remembered it was at the dry cleaners! I hoped this skirt still conveyed the look, even though it's technically a pattern.
While I'm not a stickler for matching, I really do shy away from "clashing" tones of the same hue in an outfit. And this one has THREE different shades of green! The shirt has more of a mint, the cardi is kelly green and the belt is certainly olive. I was a bit apprehensive about pairing the olive with the kelly, but after trying several different belts, I kept reaching back for this one. I quite like the clash.
The other thing I love about this outfit is the shape. I felt very feminine with the poofy skirt and belted cardi. I think it showed my shape well and I could even see wearing this outfit in the Fall with tights and boots.
So, thanks Melissa! Thanks to you, I have a new year-round outfit to add to my repertoire. You did so great I think you get extra credit!
card catalog:
cardigan--J. Crew, via Plato's
tee--Topshop, via Plato's
belt--J. Crew
skirt--Forever 21
heels--Old Navy
8.07.2010
What I Bought, Part 4--Day 93
So, after the Gap broke my will, I figured, might as well be REAL BAD.
Except remember, I'm a firstborn. My idea of a crazy night is running a stop sign in a neighborhood and maybe drinking out of a Coke in Wal-Mart before I PAID FOR IT.
I'd been keeping an eye on the jean leggings--jeggings, if you must--and saw some on Forever 21's site that were a good price to try a trend. To the mall I went. And The Boyfriend was with me. So that made it ok. He's pretty (AHEM, VERY) good at asking me if I need something when I'm buying it and also, he's pretty amazing at telling me the riskier things look darn good. So he's good for my wallet and ego, both qualities any man should aspire to have.
Here's what I got:
card catalog:
During this challenge, I faced moving all of my things into storage, and will be moving in about 20 days out-of-state, so I took the opportunity to purge, purge, purge. I ended up taking 2 laundry baskets to Plato's Closet and EIGHT garbage bags of clothes to Goodwill. I would feel better about that if it hadn't just been sitting for so long and if there wasn't still a lot hanging in my closet.
Plato's, to my surprise, had the nice girl working that day. The one who didn't act as if my clothes all smelled and might have lice. She bought almost everything. On top of that, I had a 20% card, so between store credit and the discount, I got the following for $12.
card catalog:
silk top--Petticoat (random brand?)
cotton puffed sleeve--DVF
card catalog:
cotton top--Odille
cotton tank--H&M
cotton floral--Topshop
card catalog:
faux fur down vest--Gap
corduroy blazer--H&M
card catalog:
swiss dot blouse--Fossil
tunic--H&M
silk/cotton cardi--J. Crew
silk/cotton buttondown--J. Crew
green striped buttondown--Ralph Lauren
And here it all is.
So, faithful readers, you have an assignment. In order to get back onto blogging, I'm going to take requests.
Take one item pictured from my new haul--anything from the last few posts--and tell me in the comments how I should wear it. I'll pick my favorite 5 (if there are that many!) and wear them all next week. You don't have to use only items from this challenge but play nice! (No fair picking the down vest. It's 111 degrees here!)
I'll post each day, linking to the Top 5's respective blogs and giving them credit as the stylist. Don't you think that will be fun?
8.06.2010
What I Bought, Part 3--Day 92
So, after establishing that I was an emotional shopper, I started wondering why. Why do I shop at some times versus others? Why do I feel the need for shiny new things?
And I realized, that it's usually when I need to be in control. When something isn't going well, I can always count on shopping.
People aren't like that. People can be having a bad day, or not support you in a way you think they should, or say something offhand that hurts your feelings. Other people aren't controllable.
Life isn't like that either. Things change; people move, get married, have babies; sickness happens; death happens. Life isn't controllable.
I'm not like that. I could have forgotten to mail a bill on time and have to pay a penalty, have a work meeting that's less than stellar, disappoint someone I care about, or say something mean unintentionally. Sometimes, I'm not controllable.
But shopping IS like that. With the high volume of merchandise, I can always count on the Gap, Loft or Target to have something to buy that lets me feel better. With any amount of money, shopping is controllable.
Which is really just a way of saying: I like being in control more than I like feeling out of control.
I'm a control freak. And instead of dealing with that, I was buying stuff.
I'll put what I think about all that tomorrow...if you care to still be my internet therapists, dears.
After The Gap, I think my next favorite place is Target. Mostly because there's literally one right across the street from my neighborhood. Every time I go anywhere, there it is, drawing me in with its bullseye like a homing beacon.
So here's what I bought there:
And I realized, that it's usually when I need to be in control. When something isn't going well, I can always count on shopping.
People aren't like that. People can be having a bad day, or not support you in a way you think they should, or say something offhand that hurts your feelings. Other people aren't controllable.
Life isn't like that either. Things change; people move, get married, have babies; sickness happens; death happens. Life isn't controllable.
I'm not like that. I could have forgotten to mail a bill on time and have to pay a penalty, have a work meeting that's less than stellar, disappoint someone I care about, or say something mean unintentionally. Sometimes, I'm not controllable.
But shopping IS like that. With the high volume of merchandise, I can always count on the Gap, Loft or Target to have something to buy that lets me feel better. With any amount of money, shopping is controllable.
Which is really just a way of saying: I like being in control more than I like feeling out of control.
I'm a control freak. And instead of dealing with that, I was buying stuff.
I'll put what I think about all that tomorrow...if you care to still be my internet therapists, dears.
After The Gap, I think my next favorite place is Target. Mostly because there's literally one right across the street from my neighborhood. Every time I go anywhere, there it is, drawing me in with its bullseye like a homing beacon.
So here's what I bought there:
card catalog:
Items #1 and #2 still have tags. Should I keep or return?
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